Feb. 20th, 2008 11:31 am
Warnings: Het, whump (slight), language
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Beta: ferret_kitty, now indulging my shiny new fascination with het. 0_0
Summary: Rodney McKay, meet Vala Mal Doran. Vala Mal Doran, meet—hey, get your tongue out of his mouth!
Author's Note: So strina suggested that maybe there needed to be some Rodney/Vala action. I? Am highly suggestible. Plus, the sheer amount of sexual harassment bound to result if Rodney and Vala ever ran into each other is far too good to pass up.
Vala Mal Doran walks through the 'gate to Atlantis in what Rodney vocally and immediately declares to be full porn star regalia. John elbows him in the ribs and Sam makes a sound like she's choking on her own tongue and Rodney doesn't understand the problem because it's not like he meant it in a bad way.
Rodney has nothing but the highest respect and appreciation for a woman that feels comfortable running around in six inch heels, skin tight leather pants, and a neck line so plunging that he might be able to see the shadow of her belly button with a little effort. And it's not like he called her a whore. He's pretty sure having a successful job in the pornography industry is nothing to be ashamed of.
Still, Rodney figures they know better than he does, and waves a hand absently before turning his attention to the computer in front of him. Rodney assumes Vala will yell at him, and he'll ignore her, and then John will sweep her off and Rodney won't see her again before she returns to Earth.
Rodney's aware of the click-click-click of her heels across the floor towards them. And he hears Sam say, "Vala! It's so good to...see...you?"
That's all the warning Rodney gets before there's a pale, perfect hand slamming his laptop closed. He looks up, protesting, "Hey!" and that's about when Vala throws an arm around his neck, plastering herself up against his chest, her other hand coming up to stroke absently over the shell of his ear.
Vala's voice is a low purr, "Do you know, that's the nicest thing a man's said to me in months? I was beginning to think your entire species was blind. Or that you'd all been gelded." Vala shimmies her hips against Rodney, and wow, doesn't that do all kinds of interesting things? Her grin stretches huge, "Did anyone ever tell you that you've got gorgeous eyes?"
Rodney's pretty sure this has got to be some kind of ridiculous prank Sheppard's playing on him. That's not stopping him from saying, "As a matter of fact no, no one ever said that to me before. Though now that you mention it I'm sure they should have. So. Um. Thank you? And you have—Well." Rodney makes a vague, wiggling gesture with his hands and she laughs.
Vala's got a nice laugh, big and loud, like she's not afraid to use it. She cocks her head to the side and it accentuates the long pale line of her throat, the fact that Rodney can trace all that skin down the curve of her breast.
John's voice is an unpleasant interruption, "McKay. Gonna share your new friend?"
Rodney blurts, "No," just a little sharper than intended, and Vala wiggles her eyebrows at him and the tip of her pink, pink tongue pokes out between her teeth when she grins. "I mean. Right. Of course. I have to—Radek needs me to finish the power regulations for the dialing problem on M34-R3R."
Rodney takes a step back and Vala moves with him, smoothly sliding around to his side, still touching him in about a dozen different places. She's saying, "Oh, I do have such a weakness for a man that can techno-babble. Why don't you show me how you regulate your power?" And Rodney's pretty sure that there's no reason for that to sound dirty except that the way she says it there's no way it's anything but.
And then Vala's dragging Rodney towards the door, the soft curve of her breast pressed up against his arm. Rodney hears Sam call from behind them, "Vala, I wanted to show you the—"
Vala pauses in the doorway, pushing Rodney against it and draping her body all over him. Her chin is resting, improbably, on Rodney's shoulder when she says, "Yes, well, we'll have time for that later, won't we? Whereas later Rodney here won't be working on his very important power regulation. Time management, Sam!"
Rodney doesn't even fight when he's propelled forward again. He feels himself flush when Vala wolf whistles low and dirty in his ear, and stage whispers back to Sam, "And his ass! How dare you not tell me about this ass, Samantha Carter. You and I are going to have a talk later."
Working on the power regulation codes is certainly different with Vala along. For one thing, Rodney's not sure he's ever seen Radek's mouth hang open quite so much before. Also, Rodney doesn't think that anyone has ever dared to sit on top of the ZedPM housing console. And Vala's definitely the first person who's ever sat behind his laptop, thighs open on either side of the computer, leaning forward and absently chewing on her lip as she watches him.
Rodney twists, punches in the latest set of calculations for the dialer, and orders, "Alright, try it again, and this time spool it up slowly."
Vala leans impossibly further forward. She's twirling the end of one long strand of black hair around her fingers, saying, "Your mouth is very expressive. What does it look like when you come?" Behind Rodney, Radek drops something.
Rodney spares a brief look for Vala, watching the power levels rise and then level and hold steady, thank God. He says, absently, re-running the last simulation to make sure it wasn't a fluke, "How should I know? I can't very well see my own mouth when I'm coming, can I?"
Vala hums, her face scrunching up in thought, and then she's shifting, looking over Rodney's shoulder towards Radek, "What does his mouth look like when he comes?"
Later, Radek will try to convince everyone that he was shocked by a freak electrical jolt, but Rodney knows fainting when he sees it. Vala's brows draw together a little in concern, she's pouting when she says, "Is he dead?"
And Rodney is far too concerned with the fact that the simulation is still working to worry too much about Zelenka's sudden descent into complete uselessness, "He's probably fine. I'll take him to the Infirmary in a minute."
Vala hums again, starts swinging her legs, brushing his thighs with her ankles on each pass. She says, "I think we should go eat. Do you have ice cream? MREs? Particularly those chicken and potato ones?"
Rodney realizes, abruptly, that he is quite possibly in love. He says, "Are you kidding, the beef in brown gravy is obviously superior to the chicken and potatoes." She laughs, and he has the wonderfully bizarre feeling that it's not at him. He smiles back.
They're in the middle of eating a gigantic shared bowl of ice cream, sprinkles, bananas, and chocolate syrup when SGA-3 manages to get their Jumper stranded behind enemy lines.
Rodney sighs, shoving one last huge spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth even as he shoves up from the table. They'd been having a wonderful conversation, about the pros and cons of playing an alien character on one of Earth's sci-fi shows where you were most likely going to be required to sit in make-ups trailers for hours on end every day. Vala had also been sliding her foot up his leg.
Rodney calls over his shoulder as he heads for the door, "I still think all that paint and latex is just asking for trouble. Do you know how many people suffer from latex allergies? Human skin wasn't designed to deal with all those chemicals and—"
Vala interrupts him, grabbing him by the shoulders and spinning him around. She's warm and soft and perfect pressed up against him, and her mouth under his is open and hot and sweet. She tastes like ice cream and her tongue makes itself at home in his mouth like that's exactly where it belongs.
Rodney kisses her back, because he is neither stupid nor dead. Vala makes a happy little sound against his lips, and throws her arms around his neck and doesn't seem to take it adversely when he lets his own hands rest on her hips. The leather of her pants is warm under his palms, smooth and shiny and he flexes his fingers experimentally against it.
Rodney only pulls back when Sheppard snaps over his radio, "McKay, we're all waiting for you in the Jumper bay. I'm pretty sure Riley's team is going to appreciate us getting there before the Wraith find them."
Vala makes a face up at Rodney, licking the corner of his mouth before saying, "He's a spoilsport. Tell him I said so, would you?"
Rodney's nodding, untangling himself from her and heading for the Jumper bay and wondering when the hell his life got quite this bizarre. John just gives him an odd look when Rodney tells him he's a spoil sport, and then Sheppard's expression is shutting down.
Rodney's surprised when John reaches out, when the other man drags his thumb across the corner of Rodney's mouth. Rodney says, "Um?"
And John shrugs, shakes himself, before saying, "Ice cream. I think."
They spend two days getting SGA-3 back. Well. Rodney spends two days getting SGA-3 back while the rest of his team does their level best to drive him out of his mind with the most inane questions he's had to deal with since—no, the most inane questions he's ever had to deal with.
Rodney starts humming as loudly as he can each time one of them comes near him, and threatens to start singing off-key if that's what it takes. None of them seem particularly aware of the fact that he's trying to find a way to remotely convince a Jumper that's went into some kind of panic mode to allow its pilot to fly it back home before it runs out of power.
In the end, of course, it turns out to be impossible to remotely do anything to the other Jumper, and wow, Rodney had forgotten how very, very much he hated space walks. It doesn't help that John spends the entire time Rodney's wrestling his way into the incredibly awkward suit scowling grimly and saying things like, "It'll be fine, Rodney," or, "You could talk me through this," or, "Don't worry, I'm sure we patched the hole up fine after Zelenka got hit by that tiny asteroid."
It's almost a relief to be standing in the empty rear section of the Jumper, waiting for the rear door to open to space. Sheppard's got him as close to the other Jumper as possible, and all he'll have to do is float across and see how many of the systems he can access from the drive pods. And pray that he can fix whatever the hell is wrong with it in the time his air supply will last.
Rodney grabs onto the overhead racks when the rear hatch opens, stares out into the impossible blackness of space, and mutters, "I should have known that this was going to happen. I mean, a kiss goodbye. If that's not a surefire way to ask for almost certain death, I don't know what is."
Sheppard's voice sounds confused, grainy, over his radio, "What was that, McKay?"
Rodney waves a hand even though Sheppard can't see him, grinds out, "Nothing, nothing. Going to save the day now. Don't talk to me. Conserving oxygen."
Rodney's out of air by the time he finishes. He's lightheaded, fingers fumbling over delicate circuitry, but he can hear the Jumper surging to life under his hands. He tries to laugh, but it's nothing but a dry wheeze, and Sheppard's yelling in his ear, the same way he has been for the last ten minutes, "McKay! McKay! Don't do this to me, you answer me, goddamnit."
Rodney would have liked to. He thinks he'd have liked to have let John know just exactly how utterly unfair it was that he finally met someone like Vala just in time to heroically die in space. He'd have liked to tell John that it wasn't his fault, and that if he did that stupid guilty thing where he didn't talk to anyone for a month Rodney was going to come back just the haunt his skinny ass.
There's really no chance of him managing any of that. He tugs clumsily at the rope around his waist, vaguely intending to release it. Rodney doesn't want them to see him like this, his face gone blue and puffy. He's seen how people look when they asphyxiate and it's not something he wants John or Jeannie or Madison to have to associate with him.
He thinks that, really, floating through space for the rest of eternity isn't that bad.
In his ear, he can hear John shouting, "Riley, fucking move or I'm going to hit you and undo all that work McKay just put in to fixing that Jumper." And then, lower, faster, like John's praying or chanting, "Work, let it work, let it work, let it work—"
Rodney's aware of sudden shadow, where there had been light, and then a flash of pain along his right side. And then someone is yanking his helmet off, and there are icy fingers pressing up under his jaw, and he coughs and gulps at the sweet oxygen all around him.
Sheppard's voice is low and angry, his lips moving across Rodney's ear, "You bastard, I told you to come back. I ordered you to fucking abort, what were you thinking, what if—"
Rodney tries to roll himself onto his side, because his lungs burn, and the spots behind his eyes are making him dizzy and who the hell is John to yell at him, anyway? Teyla's voice offers him salvation, she's saying, "Colonel, we are spinning dangerously close to the Hive ship, perhaps you should return to the pilot's seat?"
Sheppard jerks away from him with another bitten off curse, snapping, "Get him out of that damn thing."
By the time they get back to Atlantis the adrenaline that had made it seem like a really good idea to stay out in the harsh emptiness of space while he ran out of oxygen has worn off. Rodney's shaking, squeezing his hands between his knees, trying to stop the vibrations that feel bone deep. Teyla and Ronon are bracketing him in on either side of the bench, but Rodney still feels frozen inside.
Keller's waiting with a medical team in the Jumper bay, and Rodney lets Ronon drag him out of the Jumper because well, he was without oxygen for at least a minute or two and who knows what the stress has done to his heart or how many brain cells he managed to suffocate.
Rodney tries not to be disappointed that Vala isn't there to welcome him back.
Keller runs a battery of tests to make sure Rodney didn't permanently damage himself, and then sends him away with a lollipop and an eye roll. Rodney's exhausted, and more upset than he wants to admit that apparently Vala is gone. John catches his arm outside of the infirmary, like he's been lurking there, waiting for him, and says, "C'mon, I hear they're serving cake in the Mess."
Rodney considers going along, but shakes John off, mumbles, "Actually I think I'm going to go get some sleep." John's expression shifts for a moment, his mouth twisting down, before the man is shrugging and grinning.
John nudges him in the shoulder, says, "Your loss."
Rodney rolls his eyes, waves his hands in a shoo-ing motion. "Ronon's probably already ate it all anyway." He turns, because John had spun him away from the transporters. He thinks what he really needs is a hot shower and then bed. Hopefully he'll be able to grab a few hours of sleep before the next emergency.
John says, "McKay—" but then the transporter doors close, and when John doesn't try to get him over the radio Rodney figures it wasn't anything important.
Rodney's bad mood lasts right up to the instant he opens his door.
For a half second he thinks he must be hallucinating, but then Vala yawns, "I was beginning to think I was going to have to go find you," and stretches. She's lying on her stomach across his narrow bed, long pale legs crossed at the ankles, her head pillowed on her arms. Rodney's not sure what to call the bright pink lacy thing she's mostly not wearing.
Rodney can feel his mouth hanging open, and Vala shifts, braces one elbow on the bed and leans her chin against her hand. Her hair falls in dark waves down to the mattress, softening her sharp features, and Rodney stumbles a step into the room. The door closes behind him, but he barely hears it. He says, "What are you, um, doing?"
Vala rolls her eyes, her lips very shiny when she smiles, her voice a low purr, "I was planning on fucking you." She makes a concerned face, folding her legs up as she sits, "That is okay, isn't it?"
Rodney's exhausted. He has a headache that hasn't so much as faded since he almost suffocated. He's known Vala a grand total of four days, most of which he spent in space. She's an alien. She lives in a different galaxy. Jackson purportedly has some kind of weird love/hate thing going on with her. All very good reasons for Rodney to say no.
Rodney shrugs, "Sounds good to me."
Vala claps her hands together, swinging her legs off the side of the bed and motioning him closer with a dirty smile on her lips. Rodney's aware that his own smile is somewhat more nervous, but there's a beautiful woman who wants to have sex with him, and he is a genius.
The first press of her mouth against his, still ice cream sweet, has his heart thundering in his chest. He runs his hands back through her thick hair and her long, clever fingers work at his pants and when she twists and yanks him down onto his back he goes with it.
She's beautiful, all pale skin, small and compact and perfect. She leans over him, her sweet smelling hair curtaining them off. Rodney runs reverent hands over her skin and groans around her tongue in his mouth and loses himself in her. For the time she rides him, hips rolling against his, her head thrown back, throat tight around moans, Rodney doesn't even care that he's lost.
Rodney wakes up with Vala's hair in his mouth. She's sprawled across his chest, one leg thrown over him, snoring loudly. There's something unexpectedly pleasing about finding out someone as gorgeous as her snores like a sawmill. Pleasing, but still annoying. Rodney pokes her in the side until she stirs.
Vala's also left a drool spot on Rodney's chest, and she wipes at it absently, pushing herself up on an elbow and blinking down at him. Half her face is red and blotchy from being pressed up against his skin all night long, and there's sleep in her eyes and then she smiles and it's all he can see.
Rodney leans up, presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth, where her lips curl and go thin. He's not sure that he can take the full bright glee of her smile, he wasn't built for that much happiness, but this little piece in the corner warms him.
She shifts, moving their mouths together with more purpose, her smile softening. They both taste like the morning, and she giggles against him, her thin fingers splayed across his chest. He pulls back enough to shoot her an indignant look, "What?"
Vala shrugs, her breast shifting against his side, "I like you."
Rodney stares up at her. Her fine dark hair is tangled, there are lines around her mouth and in the corners of her eyes that are more obvious now. He reaches up, fits his hand around the curve of her neck and pulls her down against him.
Vala slides on top of him willingly, settling her hips against his and rubbing promisingly up against him. Rodney groans into her mouth, and runs his fingers down her spine, spanning her narrow back with his hands, tracing the lines of her ribs.
Rodney mumbles up into her mouth, "How long did you say you were staying again?" and soaks in her laughter.
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