Break Down (go ahead and give it to me)

May. 4th, 2008 08:48 am

Fandom: BSG (2003)

Characters: Sam/Kara/Leoben

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Smut, no more squicky than what's on the show which doesn't say much.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Beta: The talented and lovely mgbutterfly took care of it for me.

Summary: She feels it up her spine, an echo, a balance to Leoben still trying to thrust into her. It's not enough, she still sees the stars too brightly, still feels the intergalactic drift through her chest.

Author's Note: mgbutterfly and clear_as_blood are both ENABLERS! Also, probably the only ones interested in reading this. Hm. That is all. Also, Tom Petty was kind enough to provide the title.


Kara is beginning to think that Leoben never shuts up.

His mouth tastes like blood against hers, salt and bitterness, human even though she knows it's not, knows that the red stain passing from him to her has more in common with the fluid that fills the Raiders than what's flowing through her veins. Then again, she considers, sliding her mouth away from his, his stubble coarse under her tongue, his skin warm-hot-feverish, maybe her blood isn't as human as she's always thought it was.

Leoben's breath traces patterns across Kara's cheek, harsh as the wind on New Caprica had been. His voice is as rough as his fingertips, sliding under the bottom of her tanks, his thumb tracing the crescent of the scar his people left in the cradle of her hip, "I can only imagine what it must feel like for you, trapped in this skin, tied to this physical form."

Her knuckles still hurt from hitting him, a pain that is frustratingly far away, an echo of what it should be. She feels like she's drugged—like she's drunk and overdosed on stims to try to make up for the dimmed tumble of her thoughts. She hisses, teeth nipping across his jaw, her fingers stumbling, discordant, over all the layers of his clothes, "Shut up."

It's not a surprise when he laughs, she can feel the curve of one side of his smile, his hands sliding up her sides, fingertips tracing across the bottom edge of her bra, nails ragged and bitten. Leoben says, "There is no one to pass this cup to, Kara, it is yours and yours alone to drink from," and he twists, a sudden burst of strength to grab her hips and shove her up the wall. The kisses that he presses to the line of her neck might be feather soft, or maybe she just can't feel the scrape of his teeth, the bruises that he's leaving behind. She doesn't know anymore.

Kara works a hand into his hair, not soft like she remembers, but spiky with blood, greasy with sweat. She rakes her fingernails across his scalp and wraps her legs around his hips, gasps up to the ceiling, "Have we moved on to cups, now? Did you fill it up in the fraking river while you were taking a swim?"

"Kara," he says her name soft, like a prayer, like a benediction across her skin, she can feel the shape of his lips around the sound of it. He pulls at her tanks, and she arches against him, not sure in the tangle of comet dust and triplet stars if she's trying to help or hinder.

The cloth comes apart, in any case, rags that used to be shirts, dropped and discarded like everything else in this stupid, pointless war. His shirt feels cool against her skin, and she pulls and yanks at it while he curls his tongue around the chain of her dog-tags, as low down the slope of her breast as he can manage.

The bulkhead at her back is painted, she knows the exact patterns without having to look because they're all she sees when she closes her eyes. The rings of a giant yellow planet flare across her shoulder blades, a blue star glows against the small of her back. One of Leoben's hands covers the satellite of a dead world and Kara feels it like a shadow inside her head, feels it like an interstellar wind blowing through her.

Leoben sounds awed, the closest to awed he ever gets, "If you moved in the river you would destroy it, you would evaporate all of us, the cycle itself, that's why I'm here, to tell you know the things you can't see yourself."

Kara bucks against the wall, dragging her hands off of him and flattening them over the glow of a sun and an asteroid field, shoving hard. He stumbles back, holding her in the middle of the cramped cabin that is also the expanse of space, that is a world she can't touch anymore. She yanks his head back and growls into his ear, "You're here to frak me. Think you can manage that?"

"Do you think that will make you feel better?" he sounds honestly curious, one of his arms a band around her waist, more strength than a human man to carry her around, she, who is almost as tall as he is. When he lowers her down onto the blankets of her bunk it is gentle, and she can feel the spills of paint that haven't dried yet on the cloth smear against her skin, a solar system wiped out across her shoulder blades.

Leoben's eyes are gray in the light of the ship, his head tilted to the side. His lip is bleeding again, a trail of red down his chin, a drip that falls on her collar bone, the color of one of the planets that she remembers passing in her Viper, one with huge storms that she could see moving across it's surface.

Kara snarls at him, grabbing her bra and twisting it off, tossing it aside and reaching up to grab his neck, "I don't care." When she pulls at him he comes willingly, licking the drop of his blood off of her skin, his hands coming up to cup her breasts.

And she feels it, like an electric shock through her body, arches up into his touch and calls to the gods for strength. His mouth, sliding over her skin, is wet and impossibly cool, a burst of relief that has her toes curling up and her fingers tangling in his hair. Somewhere, on the edges of her hearing, she can hear water, roaring rapids, a waterfall, a rush of it moving through her.

For an instant Kara sees her bare feet in grass, the green stalks heavy and bent under drops of dew. Kara gasps and Leoben takes one of her nipples into his mouth, sucks and she can feel wet sand against her back, waves tumbling across her knees and his hand, sliding down the front of her pants.

Leoben blows across her nipple and she can feel her skin tighten, his fingers rubbing against her, soft circles. She tries to buck against him and he shushes her, kissing the skin between her breasts, trailing his tongue under the heavy curve of one, speaking into her skin, "You don't have to pretend with me, Kara, I already know, remember? Soft. Gentle. That's what you like."

Kara manages, "You don't know shit," but the venom in it is an afterthought. He's sliding his hand out of her pants, shifting up over her and tugging her boots off. They crash like stones against the glass of her Viper, and Kara winces.

Leoben is already drawing her pants off, running his hands back up her legs, his mouth turned up in a smile and she kicks him in one shoulder, just to watch his body absorb the blow. He catches her leg, pulls it over his shoulder and nuzzles against the side of her knee. Kara brings her other leg up, braces her heel on his forehead and tilts his head back until she can look in his face. She raises her eyebrows, bites out, "Well?"

The bastard has the nerve to smile again, pushing her legs away and bending over her, rubbing the side of his cheek against her stomach. He noses up against her ribs, breath moist, stubble rough, tongue slick and clever where it traces patterns against her skin.

Leoben says, kissing over her scars, a slide of tongue over ruined skin, "Seeing even the reflection of God's power is to see madness, you looked upon it and came down off the mountain with a glowing face, infused with knowledge that you can't comprehend because His ways are not our ways."

"Yeah, well, my ways are not your ways, either," even if they do know the way to Earth. Nothing Kara has ever done is mechanical, is precision, is sensible. Leoben shrugs, and slides down her body again, sliding his knuckles down the inside of one thigh, dropping kisses across the other.

The water rises again, a cascade across her, a wave crashing over her head, the taste of salt on her lips and pressure against her chest. Leoben's tongue is soft, testing, and she gasps, his thumbs tracing gentling circles on her thighs while he tastes her. The water tumbles over her, never letting her crash into the sand and shells that must be somewhere below her, and she opens her eyes, looking up at a golden sun in a cloudless sky, and comes.

When Kara opens her eyes Leoben is leaning over her, staring at her, his eyes dark and intense. His mouth and chin are wet and she arches up off the bed, kisses him and tastes herself and his blood, and feels an impossible breeze across her skin. She blinks, seeing the blue sky but beyond that the black abyss of the stars, calling, screaming, clawing at her.

There are lines of strain around Leoben's eyes, he pants against her lips, "I can't carry it with you, Kara."

She says, matching his tone, "No one asked you to carry anything," but she wonders, because he is bright in the shadow of the room. He shakes his head, and she doesn't know what she was thinking, because he is the same as he always was, no darker or lighter than anything else, just a machine thinking it's a man. She says, "I did ask you to frak me, however."

Leoben stares at her, one corner of his mouth slowly twisting up. He leans back in, kisses her again, before shifting back. There are no scars on his body when he pulls his shirts off, not from the time she put a fork through his heart, not from the time she opened his stomach with a razor, nothing. Kara reaches out and traces the places the scars should have been, through chest hair that is more faded than she had expected.

His voice is a surprise, startles her out of the daze she had slipped into, "It confused me at first, too. I still look for them sometimes." He doesn't sound angry, but then, he hadn't at the time, either. He shifts, half stands and pushes his pants down his hips.

Kara wonders if she should be disappointed that his dick just looks like a dick. He's even circumcised. More fascinatingly, he's hard, and she watches him hesitate, his expression sliding through want and fear and settling on something calm. She narrows her eyes, "Afraid I'm going to evaporate your river?"

Leoben shrugs, "You send my soul to God." He moves then, makes to settle over her and she braces a hand on his shoulder, pushes. He goes to his back willingly, and she straddles him, wonders if he's ever had a woman before, if he's saved himself for her.

When Kara sinks down onto him he gasps, head tilting back against the sheets, his eyes rolling back until all she can see is the white of them. His fingers grip at her waist and hips, his thumb curving against her thigh, fingers sliding across her sweat slick skin, against the water that she can feel tumbling her on each downstroke.

Leoben's face twists up into a grimace, she can't tell if it's pleasure or pain, his voice rough, "Oh."

Kara bites her own lip, riding the crest of a wave, feeling the churning power of the ocean buoying her, sizzling against her burning skin, carrying away some of the insane heat that had been driving her crazy. She slaps him, hard, pants out, breathy, "Look at me, c'mon, look at me."

There are stars in his eyes. She watches a comet shoot across the black of his pupil, a planet circled by three moons slowly orbit a red giant. It is the reflection of what she's painted, she's sure, caught in his fever bright eyes, the changing shapes a trick of the light.

Leoben reaches up to her, his hands sliding up her skin, fingers moving into her hair. His voice is barely audible, "It is more than I imagined," and she grinds her hips against his, not sure what he's talking about at this point.

The door opening is a scream of sound in the still air, and Kara twists to look. Sam stands in the doorway, and she would have expected anger, some anger from him finally for this. His expression is too complicated for that, something in the tilt of his chin and the shine of his eyes that she can't read. And then he takes a half step into the room, his voice rough as Leoben's, " are you doing that?"

"What?" Kara feels like she can barely breathe, her heart pounding. She can hear waves pounding in the back of her head, Leoben twisting his fingers through her hair, stroking back through the sweaty strands. Sam takes another step into the room, his eyes wide, unfocused, pulling the door closed.

Sam waves a hand, his eyes fluttering, "Your—uh, you're—" his voice trails off, and then he's reaching out, trailing his fingertips across her shoulder blades. She moans, leaning back into his touch, because she can feel sand against her back suddenly, warm, heated from the sun, solid.

Sam leans over her, presses a kiss against her temple, cupping the back of her head, his hand brushing Leoben's. He says, into her ear, "You're so bright. It—it's hard to look at you." Beneath her Leoben groans, and she braces a hand on his chest, feels his heart thump against her palm in unison with her own.

Leoben gasps, can't ever fraking shut up, "Now, isn't that interesting." There's a twist to his mouth, his eyes sliding between Kara and Sam, his hips twitching desperately up against her. Kara rubs against him and his eyes flutter closed, before snapping open again, bright, "Do you want him to believe you, too, Kara? Do you want him to see what you see? Do you want to see what she does, Anders?"

The room seems bigger than it was, the ocean lapping around her thighs, the universe spinning above her head, the ground wavering between solid and a dream beneath her. She rolls her head against Sam's hand, looks up at him, searching his eyes. For just a second she's sure there's a gleam of red around his irises, a gleam like blood, like the corona of a sun.

Sam makes a soft, desperate sound, dropping kisses on her brow, her cheek, her mouth. She kisses him hungrily, groaning into his mouth when Leoben shifts beneath her, thrusting up into her body. Sam gasps against her mouth, "Gods," before leaning back and ripping his tanks off.

When he steps away from her she feels the loss like the removal of the ground beneath her feet. Leoben rubs his hands up and down her neck, murmurs into the thick air, "I knew God had sent you a touchstone, but I didn't realize it was him." Something crashes further in the room, and then Sam is back, stepping out of his pants, sliding onto the bed on his knees.

Sam fans his hands across her shoulder blades, his big hands solid against her skin, a jolt of stability she feels down to her core. Overhead the stars wheel, but she is still, held in place by gravity and the warmth of the planetary body beneath her.

"Gods, Kara," Sam bends, mouths at the nape of her neck, the tips of his fingers sliding against the back of her arms, leaving tingling trails behind. Beneath her she can feel Leoben getting more and more tense, his hips moving in jerky little thrusts.

When Sam runs a hand down her spine, pushing her forward, Kara shifts, leans over Leoben. He gasps when her hair trails across his skin, running his hands down her arms, finding her hands and winding their fingers together. Kara kisses him, open mouthed and needy, Sam sucking kissing against her shoulders, down the line of her spine.

The first brush of his fingers, against the place where her body is joined with Leoben's, is a fresh burst of steadying heat. Kara groans, feels more than hears Leoben echo the sound, and then Sam's slick finger is sliding back up, the blunt tip of one fingertip pressing against the center of her ass. Sam has his face tucked in against her neck now, voice rough, pleading, "Can I be in you? Can I see?"

Kara tips her head back against him, feeling the sand fall away to soft mud, a riverbed cradling her. She gasps, "Yes," because there's nothing else she can say. She feels human for the first time in months, connected to the earth, washed clean by the water, the stars the farthest away they've ever been .

Sam whimpers, nuzzling up into the soft skin beneath her ear, his free hand sliding up her side, fingertips brushing the underside of her breast and then cupping it. The push of his finger into her is long and slick, a feeling she doesn't know how to describe because she's feeling it all across her skin, feeling it as wet earth around her, pebbles under her feet, clay crumbling beneath her fingers.

Sam gasps, "Gods," moving his finger inside her. She feels it up her spine, an echo, a balance to Leoben still trying to thrust into her. It's not enough, she still sees the stars too brightly, still feels the intergalactic drift through her chest.

"More," Kara barely recognizes her voice as her own. Her hands are tangled with Leoben's, Sam has an arm wrapped around her, fingers tracing prayers across her skin. His breath catches when he works another finger into her, slow, easy, thick. Kara wonders, disjointedly, if she's going to have to remind him to breathe, but then he shudders. She mumbles, her eyes closed, seeing anyway, the sun, the surf, the stone of the foundations of the earth, "It's okay, it's okay, sh, Sam, it's okay."

Sam's hand slides down her stomach, pressed tight between her and Leoben. She arches back into his solid chest, his thumb dragging over her belly button, his chin hooking over her shoulder as he rubs his fingers against her, slow, torturous circles.

When Kara comes again, shaking, crying out with it, Leoben squeezes her hands, arches up and captures her mouth. She can feel him trembling, still hard inside her, distantly amazed that they've apparently managed to shut him up.

Leoben slides his tongue against hers, his palms sweaty, his grip desperate, as Sam slides another finger into her. She hopes absently that he's not using paint as lube, doesn't want the white of an exploding star or the blue of an alien ocean inside her, not more than it already is.

Kara makes a desperate sound of loss when Sam slides his fingers out, feeling the tectonic plates shift and collide under her. Sam says, "Can you take me?" his fingers still rubbing circles against her clit, building another orgasm low in the pit of her stomach, spreading out through her body in bursts of warmth and salt water air.

"Yes," the word comes from somewhere deep in her chest, from the void of deep space, from the heart of the birthplace of the stars. Sam is holding his breath again, shifting around, snugging up against her, grabbing one of Leoben's legs and rearranging it, the other holding Kara's hip in place.

The press of Sam into her is a burn that she feels all the way out to her fingertips and toes. She buries her face against Leoben's neck, feeling the wild beating of his pulse against her mouth. And then Sam is settled against her, one hand braced by her shoulder, brushing the knuckles of the other up and down her side.

Kara is standing under a waterfall, her toes curled up in the silt beneath her feet. Kara is on her back in the surf, the waves crashing around her hips. Kara is washing off in a river, the mud sucking at her ankles. The stars are above her somewhere, but they are hidden by the sunlight. Her mind is silent.

"Gods," she can feel her mouth shaping the word, though she can't hear it. Sam is rocking into her, slow and steady, and Leoben, impossibly strong Leoben is thrusting, lifting all of them with each arch of his body. Kara untangles one of her hands from his, reaches back and gets her fingers in Sam's hair, feeling them move around her, in her, feeling like Kara Thrace.

Kara gasps, eyes squeezed shut, and comes again, orgasm wracking her body, in all the different places she is. She hears Leoben cry, something wordless, feels him come inside her, for what feels like an age and a half. Sam closes his mouth over her pulse point, thrusts hard a half dozen more times, and then he is going stiff over her, shuddering and pouring into her.

When Kara opens her eyes the room is insanely bright, and she squints against it. She closes her eyes again, and holds onto the solidity of the earth, the cool pressure of the water. Kara sleeps, her mind empty of the storm of the stars.

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