Jun. 11th, 2008 09:22 am
Characters: Rodney/Daniel, implications of John/Rodney
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: And then Rodney goes serious, all big eyes, shining with earnestness when he says, "I remember other things, too. I want...other things."
Kink: (19) Virginity/celibacy
Author's Note: Because I am weak. And incapable of resisting pretty much anything. At all. Also? Far more plot than porn. I don't know how that happened.
When Atlantis falls, Earth doesn't find out about it until after the refugees are already safely aboard the Apollo. The city of the Ancients they lose completely, blown to pieces so infinitesimal that no one will ever be able to use it against them.
They lose dozens of soldiers in the fight. And in the escape, in the final desperate gamble that bought them enough time to save everyone else, they lose Rodney McKay. He goes down with the city, atomized, and the space that he left behind shows up in everyone that comes back to Earth.
Daniel only notices from the fringes, the sad, tormented scientists and soldiers that wander around the base in a daze before they're reassigned. He catches rumors of what happens to some of them. He knows that John Sheppard handed in his commission, empty eyed and looking like a broken man, before completely dropping off the grid.
When Atlantis falls, it sends its people back to Earth. All of them.
One just takes a little longer.
Rodney McKay shows up on a beach in northern California, a month after everyone else comes home. Evan Lorne happens to be there when it happens, pure dumb luck, and he's the one that finds McKay, sitting naked on the sand, staring out across the waves. Lorne brings the other man back to the SGC, McKay talking the entire time, though no one understands a word he says until Daniel happens to walk into the infirmary, and hears, "—am I? Can you at least tell me your names?" in Ancient.
Daniel startles, looking at the man sitting on the medical bed. They've got McKay hooked up to a bunch of machines, and he's staring around the room, all big blue eyes and a wondering expression. Daniel steps forward, catching one of the man's hands, where he's trying to touch everything, answering in the same tongue, "Rodney? Doctor McKay? Do you know where you are?"
And Rodney McKay looks at him, head tilting to the side, wide, crooked smile stretching across his face, "Oh, is that my name?"
No one knows what Rodney did to piss the Ancients off, or how he even managed to Ascend. But he's back now, his body brand new, miraculously not in a billion pieces anymore. His memory is gone, though as far as they can figure he'll get it back. Slowly. That's the way it usually works.
At first he only speaks Ancient, and follows Daniel around like a lost puppy. Daniel doesn't really mind, because Rodney is frighteningly quick, and excitable as a child. He has to keep Rodney away from some of the more delicate equipment in his labs, because the man wants to touch everything, a sort of wide eyed curiosity that just won't quit.
By the end of two weeks Daniel is used to having Rodney around. They eat together, the other man enthusing over Jello like it's manna from heaven, moaning obscenely over the mashed potatoes every time they show up on the menu.
Rodney remembers English fairly quickly, but seems mostly annoyed by a large percentage of the other people on base. As far as Daniel is aware, that's pretty much par for the course. Rodney starts remembering other things after that, his math, his science, fractured memories of Atlantis, though he doesn't seem to remember how he got there or why he isn't there anymore.
He doesn't remember people, at all. Not Lorne, who pops in at least once a day, looking hopeful and then crushed when Rodney shows no sign of recognizing him. Sam comes by sometimes, to talk with Rodney, though he doesn't remember her, either.
No one can find Sheppard, and apparently everyone is looking for him.
And time passes, the way time does. One month. Two. Rodney makes himself at home, growing frustrated as he remembers more, the remaining gaps driving him crazy. He's still got that wide-eyed innocence, but there's an undercurrent of anger, right below the surface. Daniel is not surprised that the Ancients kicked the other man back down to a corporeal form.
Three months in, Daniel walks into his house to find Rodney McKay sitting in front of his television, knees pulled up, arms wrapped around his legs, enraptured by the cartoons that are playing. Daniel pauses, just for a second, before hanging his coat up and stepping over to sit down beside the other man.
Daniel bumps his shoulder against Rodney's, the man turning to look at him, smiling brightly. Rodney says, "Good evening," and presses their shoulders together again, this time maintaining the contact.
Daniel blinks, taking in the loose t-shirt and jeans, the blue socks that the other man has his toes curled up in. It's the first time he's seen Rodney not wearing standard uniform, since he came back. He asks, clicking the television off, because the high pitched voices are driving him to distraction, "What're you doing here?"
Rodney shrugs, tilting his head to the side, warmth pressed all up against Daniel's side, "I remembered stores. And homes. Do I have a home? Yours is very nice."
Daniel isn't sure why he's been elected Rodney's go-to guy for questions about his past life, especially when Daniel barely knew the man. He flounders, and does the best that he can, "I, well, you must. Somewhere. We can try to find it for you, I suppose. Does anyone know you left the mountain?"
That gets a smile from Rodney, one of his big, blinding grins that make Daniel's stomach twist. And then Rodney goes serious, all big eyes, shining with earnestness when he says, "I remember other things, too. I want...other things."
Daniel swallows, because there's something about the tone of Rodney's voice that sends a flood of warmth through his stomach. He opens his mouth, meaning to tell Rodney about the errands he ran earlier, and instead he's saying, "What kind of things?"
Rodney smiles, a gentle upturn of one side of his mouth, and then he's moving. Daniel sucks in a deep breath when Rodney straddles him, one slightly clumsy movement that nevertheless ends up making Daniel's heart stutter and his pulse race. He blinks helplessly across at Rodney, just in time to watch the man lean in, and kiss him softly.
Daniel freezes, his hands pressing flat against the floor, the warmth of the other man's body sinking into him. Rodney makes a soft sound against Daniel's mouth, one of his big hands coming up to slide back, cupping Daniel's head. Daniel still can't make himself move.
After a moment Rodney pulls back, his cheeks red. He's staring at the ground, a slight wince on his features when he says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—I'm just going to go."
Then he's moving, standing, taking his warmth with him. Daniel stares at the blank television screen for a half second, before pushing to his feet, blurting, "Wait!" He catches Rodney at the front door, grabbing the man's arm, skin warm and welcoming below the edge of his shirt sleeve. "I just—" Daniel has always been good with words, just not words about this. He shifts uncomfortably, "—I was surprised. I didn't expect—"
And then Rodney is kissing him again. This time Daniel remembers to respond, relearning the feel of another person's mouth against his, groaning when Rodney pushes closer, his fingers tracing back across Daniel's cheeks, threading into Daniel's hair.
It's been an age since Daniel did this. In this body, Rodney has never done this at all. Daniel's teeth catch at Rodney's lip, and when Rodney grips at his shoulder it is almost too desperate. Except for how it really isn't. Daniel groans, pushing Rodney against the door, tilting the man's head back, kissing him deeper, finding that, apparently, he remembers more about this than he thought he did.
Pressed close and tight together, it becomes immediately apparent how much Rodney is enjoying this turn of events. His erection is pressing against Daniel's thigh, and Daniel feels an answering rush of need and want. He nips at Rodney's bottom lip, sliding his hands down the man's sides, scrambling at the hem of Rodney's shirt and then catching himself.
Daniel has no idea what Rodney was expecting when he came here, but he deserves better than sex against a door for his first time. Daniel braces a hand by Rodney's shoulder, pushing himself back a crucial inch, breathing against Rodney's mouth, "I have, I have a very nice bed. We should—"
"Right. Yes." Rodney pushes them both bodily away from the wall, grabbing Daniel's wrist. "Well, which way is it?" Rodney looks expectant and like he's just been thoroughly kissed, hair messy, mouth red and wet. Daniel swallows heavily, and pulls him down the hall.
Daniel flips his light on and then wishes he hadn't. His bedroom is a mess, books everywhere, clothes where the books aren't. Daniel says, "I can, um, clean up, a bit, if you just give me a—" and then Rodney is pushing him down onto the bed, and crawling on top of him.
Rodney kisses him again, mouth hot and open, and he learns fast, already the movement is smoother. Daniel groans, his hands finding Rodney's thighs automatically, bracketed on either side of Daniel's hips. He runs his palms up Rodney's legs, fingers skirting the swell of the man's ass, which prompts a desperate grind of Rodney's hips down against him.
Rodney groans against Daniel's mouth, head sliding to the side, nuzzling at Daniel's neck. His hands are tracing up and down Daniel's arms, his sides, like he's trying to trace Daniel's body through his clothes. He might be.
The skin on Rodney's back is warm, stretched perfectly over the muscles there. Daniel slides his hands up under the other man's shirt, pulling and tugging the fabric up. He has to gasp, "Up, lift up," before Rodney shifts enough for Daniel to pull it off.
The sales tag is still hanging on the collar, and Daniel feels inexplicably charmed. Then Rodney is frowning, staring down at his own chest with a look of concentration. Daniel reaches for him, sliding a hand up the man's chest, feeling him shiver.
When Rodney speaks he sounds puzzled, "I think...I think there used to be scars. Here," he drags his fingers across his ribs, almost right below his heart. "And here," he rubs one thumb down the inside of his right arm, frowning. "And more. I can't. It's hard to remember."
Daniel echoes the touches, then pulls and tugs until Rodney leans down so that Daniel can kiss him again. He says, against the man's crooked mouth, "You'll remember, it just takes time."
Rodney makes a rough sound, and then he's kissing hard, desperate, rocking down against Daniel. Daniel grips at his shoulders, arms, trying to see how much of the man's back he can cover with his hands, following the line of his spine down.
When Rodney kisses across Daniel's jaw, Daniel groans, tilting his head back and to the side. Rodney's kisses are slightly too sloppy, the nip of his teeth slightly too sharp against the skin of Daniel's neck. But it's still good, so good, good enough that Daniel can't bring himself to protest.
Especially not when Rodney shifts back, wrestling Daniel's shirt up and off, and then setting about exploring Daniel's chest with the concentrated intensity he's brought to everything since he came back. Daniel finds himself squirming around helplessly on his mattress, wondering how much of this is things Rodney remembers, how much he's making up as he goes along.
By the time Rodney pulls Daniel's pants open, Daniel is hard, babbling nonsensical encouragement. He feels jerky and hyper aware, and the first questing brush of Rodney's hand over his cock has Daniel babbling up to the ceiling.
Daniel looks desperately down, finds Rodney sprawled out beside him, his cheek leaning against Daniel's stomach as he plays his fingers up and down the length of Daniel's cock. He's breathing fast and shallow, his eyes bright, watching enraptured. Daniel curses.
Rodney's voice is a puff of warm air across Daniel's already over-stimulated skin, "What's it feel like?"
Daniel laughs, shaky, his voice rough, "I promise to show you." Rodney looks up at him, then, blinking his big blue eyes, smiling. His hand is still moving over Daniel's cock, just his fingertips, up and down, up and down, hypnotizing.
Rodney says, "I'd like that," and Daniel has to reach down, wrapping his fingers over Rodney's, firming up the pressure before he goes insane from wanting. Rodney makes a soft sound, his eyes jerking down again, like he has to watch, and Daniel thrusts up into their joined grip.
It doesn't take long, not after the time Rodney spent driving him out of his mind, not after how long it's been since Daniel did this. He comes shouting, feeling Rodney jerk with surprise, mumbling something that's intended to be comforting.
But Rodney is pulling away from him, falling out of the bed by the sound of it. Daniel forces himself to concentrate, pushing up on his elbows. Rodney is scrambling to his feet, backing up, his eyes wide, his expression caught somewhere between confusion and horror.
Daniel struggles to sit up, dragging sheets across his lap, trying not to look at Rodney's chest, or the come slicked over the other man's fingers. He says, voice sex-rough, "What? Rodney, what is it?"
Rodney looks at him, eyes wide and distant, mouth working without words for a moment before he manages to choke out, "John. How did I forget John?" And before Daniel can even begin to comprehend that, Rodney is stumbling out of the room, tripping through the hall.
Daniel hears the front door slam a handful of seconds later. Daniel takes a moment to get his breathing together, before shoving to his feet and wandering out to his front door. There's no sign of Rodney anywhere. Daniel hadn't really expected there to be.
The next day, Daniel is not surprised to find that no one has seen Rodney. The other man disappears, just falls off the grid. And that really isn't a surprise either.
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