Jul. 31st, 2008
Disclaimer: Not mine!
"You don't understand!"
McKay blinks, and John takes a deep breath, taking his fist off of the man's desk and a tight step back. He clears his throat, "Sir. Teyla's my team, and to expect any of us to just sit around and not do anything is ridiculous."
McKay rubs one hand over his eyes, "Are you finished?" he sounds tired, and god, looks it too, but John just doesn't have time to worry about that right now. He knows how hard running Atlantis must be, and he's done everything in his power to make it easier, guilt motivating him to go to some insane lengths, but this is Teyla and he needs her back.
John swallows, and then nods his head, "Yeah, looks like I am."
"Good. I didn't say you had to sit around and do nothing, Colonel. I said I want to pursue leads beyond our Wraith buddies, just in case he's feeding you false information." John winces at the cool tone of the other man's voice, wishing again that they didn't have the history they had, that he could look at McKay without thinking, 'he fucked me because I made him'.
John nods, sharp, "Right, well then," and waves a hand at the door, because there isn't anything else to say, really. And he means to turn at walk away, but instead he hesitates, staring at McKay, not even sure what he's looking for. It's a surprise when he hears himself ask, "Are youare things here okay? No one's bothered you?" No one better have, because John has done everything in his power to make sure that no one on Atlantis made any kind of overtures at all towards their new CO.
McKay blinks at him, and then nods, one side of his mouth twisting up into that fake smile of his, "Everyone's been great."
John finds his hands balling up into fists, hating that every damn conversation with McKay feels like pulling teeth. He knows part of it's his fault. But McKay was fucked all the hell up before John ever met him. It doesn't exactly make it easy to deal with him.
John tries anyway, he owes McKay at least that much, "That's not what I asked."
For a long moment McKay just looks at him, and then the man sits down, expression blank and clear when he says, "I don't know what you're looking for here." And John flinches, because he doesn't really know either. Absolution. Forgiveness, maybe.
Finally, he just shakes his head, and McKay frowns at him, sounding unsure when he says, "We'll find her, Sheppard." And John nods, and walks away.
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